The Monkey Song
by Rozen14
Summary: Lets just say Naraku gets tortured....


This is a very funny and cute story! I do not own the InuYasha characters but my OC character Emi. I also dont own The Monkey song from the Animaniacs!

The Inu group, Sesshomaru's group, Koga, Kikyo, Kagura and Kohaku are sick and tired of Naraku always escaping and they were gonna lose all hope, but Kagome suddenly made a choice and went back to her time to find the true master of torture for help: her friend Phoebe! What diabolical evil plot will Phoebe unleash on Naraku?

The Monkey Song

It was a bright sunny day in the fuedal era as the Inu gang were sitting around sighing in deep depression as Koga, Kikyo, Kagura, Kohaku and Sesshomaru's group came along and sat along with them and sighed in depression as well. "Let me guess...you guys tried to kill Naraku but he escaped again huh?" InuYasha asked. Koga, Kikyo, Kagura, Sesshomaru, Jaken, Rin, and Kohaku nodded their heads in despair. "Its no use! Everytime we corner Naraku he keeps escaping!" Koga complained. "I guess that Naraku has finally won..." Shippo said despairingly. Kagome sunk her head low until she suddenly perked up and everyone looked at her. "What is it Kagome?" Sango asked. "I think I got an idea on how to defeat Naraku!" Kagome said as she got up. "What is it Kagome? Whats your plan?" InuYasha asked. Kagome ran all the way to the well. "Dont worry! I'll be right back! I just need to bring someone back!" She said as she jumped into the well. "Bring someone back?" Koga asked with a confused look on his face. "Well we will just have to wait until the human comes back with this "someone"." Sesshomaru said as he remained seated.

In present time

Kagome climbed out of the well and headed outside to her front yard, she took her position at the top of the stairs and she breathed in as deeply as she could, then she began to run down the stairs and turned right while screaming: "PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

At a small house

Phoebe was sitting in the living room alone watching t.v. while her parents were away at work until her door flew open with a screaming Kagome running inside of her house. "PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kagome screamed and tackled poor Phoebe. "OOF! Kagome! What the hell?!" Phoebe said sternly. "YOU GOTTA HELP ME!!" Kagome said in a pleading tone. Phoebe raised an eyebrow and pushed Kagome off of her. "Alright Kagome...what's the problem?" Phoebe asked. "Well...I was with my boyfriend and other friends and there was this mean man who keeps harrassing us and he keeps escaping just so that he can rub it in our faces!" Kagome whined. Phoebe looked at Kagome. "So a meanie keeps harrassing you and the others?" she asked again. "YES!!" Kagome cried anime style, "Thats why I ask for your help! You're the true master of torture and randomness! Will you help us?" she pleaded. Phoebe sighed. "Alright Kagome...but you need to take me to this guy so that I can study him." Phoebe said. "Okie dokie!" Kagome said as she took Phoebe's hand and runs all the way to the shrine. "Ok Kagome why are we at your home?" Phoebe asked. "You'll see..." Kagome said as she puts a blindfold on her friend's eyes. Kagome lead Phoebe inside of the well house and guided Phoebe to the well. "Kagome...why did you blind fold me?" Phoebe asked. "Like I said you'll see." Kagome said sweetly. Kagome held onto Phoebe's hand and she jumped into the well while pulling her in with her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Phoebe screamed at the top of her lungs. Then she felt like she was floating in water then she floated gently down. "K-Kagome? Are you still alive?" Phoebe asked. "Of course Im alive, silly!" Kagome mocked. "KAGOME! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA DROPPING DOWN LIKE THAT! WE COULD OF DIED!" Phoebe yelled. "Oh calm down! Your ok and Im okay! I wouldn't do these things if I knew it would endanger us all!" Kagome said calmly as she took off Phoebe's blind fold. "Huh? How come we are at the bottom of the well? Kagome is there something you want to tell me?" Phoebe asked in a worried tone. "You shall see soon, GUYS I'M BACK! AND I BROUGHT HELP!" Kagome bellowed. "AAAAACK! MY PRECIOUS HEARING!!" Phoebe screeched as she covered her ears. "About time you got back!" InuYasha said impatiently as always. He and the others pulled Kagome and Phoebe out of the well. "Who are you?" InuYasha asked. "My name is Phoebe." Phoebe said, then she spotted InuYasha's dog ears then starts to rub them. "Are those real?" she asked curiously. "HEY LET GO!" InuYasha yelled. "Okay okay dont get your tail in a knot." Phoebe said. "I DON'T HAVE A TAIL!" InuYasha yelled. "InuYasha...SIT!" Kagome said. InuYasha went splat! "Excuse me Miss Phoebe?" Miroku asked, "Will you be the mother of my children?"

Phoebe said nothing, she only slapped him across the cheek. "Pervert..." she muttered. Sesshomaru walks up to Phoebe and looks at her. "You are going to help us defeat Naraku? What can you do?" Sesshomaru asked curiously. "Naraku? Naraku who?" Phoebe asked. "The guy I told you about, you know the guy who harrasses us." Kagome said. "Ohhhhhhhhhh...well since you asked how Im going to help defeat this "Naraku" guy, Im gonna need to take a look at him first." Phoebe says. Shippo came up to her as well. "Why do you need to look at him for Phoebe?" Shippo asked. Phoebe was a little shocked to see how small the kitsune was but she didnt let it bother her. "Well I have to study him in order to think of a plan sport." Phoebe said sweetly. "You need to study Naraku?" Kagura asked. "Yeah do you know where he is?" Phoebe asked. "Yes just follow me." Kagura said as she smiled and walked away. Everyone followed her, with Phoebe and Kagome following behind. "Say Phoebe, aren't you gonna ask me, where we are?" Kagome asked. "Nah I think Im more comfortable not knowing..."

Naraku was laughing his head off as he walks around his room. "That stupid InuYasha and his dopey sidekicks think that they could possibly kill me...well they wont! For I am smarter then the average bear! And I dont know why Im saying this! Mwahahahhahahaha!" Naraku ranted evily.

Meanwhile on the other side of the binoculars...

"Ah so that's Naraku eh?" Phoebe asked as she looked through the binoculars. Everyone nodded. "And he wears a baboon pelt hm?" she asked again. Once again they nodded. "I see...I think I have a plan on defeating the monkey man." Phoebe said as she smiled. "Whats your plan?" Koga asked impatiently. "You'll see, but first we need to practice a special song, that happens to be one of my favorites." Phoebe smirked evily. Everyone didnt say nothing but looked at Phoebe with a terrified look, whatever Phoebe is planning, it sure doesnt sound good.

A few hours later...

Naraku was sleeping in his room peacefully when Kagura came in with Phoebe's wireless radio with the cd player, she sets it down and press the play button then retreated as the music began to play.

Naraku tossed and turned when he heard crashing outside and suddenly he got up and began to sing a very weird song

One Monday morning, I got up late  
And there were these monkeys, outside ze gate  
Ze guard went to stop them but he had no luck  
The monkeys got free and they ran amok

As he was singing that tune he went outside and saw the guards being harassed by InuYasha's group, Sesshomaru's group, Koga, Kikyo, Kagura, Kohaku and Phoebe by jumping around them acting wacky. Then Naraku went back inside his room and there they were in the flash!

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Naraku ran out of his room and went to the living room where Kanna was and there they were again doing a crazy dance! Naraku continued singing his part.

My office was run by ze studio nurse  
I came downstairs und what could be worse?  
Ze monkeys was doing a crazy dance  
They put buggies in my underpants

Jaken grabbed a part of Naraku's pants and stretched it out while Rin and Shippo poured a bucket of bugs in his pants, which caused him to crouch down and dance like a monkey while everyone imitated him and sang their part.

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
Monkeys dance day and night and stew  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Naraku managed to get the bugs out of his pants and ran outside and picked up a stick then he ran back inside, when he got back outside, he had a shocked look on his face when he sees Kohaku and Shippo hugging Kanna and kissing her cheeks!

I ran outside to get a stick  
But I tell you friends, those monkeys was quick  
'Cause when I returned, much to my disgrace  
Those monkeys had the nurse in a mad embrace

"I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do." Kanna sang as she blushed.

"For a nickel, I'll give you a clue." Kohaku sang.

Phoebe ran up to Naraku and glomped him! "I didn't know your eyes were blue." Phoebe sang smoothly.

"They are not blue! They are red, now go away you shmoo!" Naraku yelled and knocked her off of him then continued to sing. (Author's Note: Im sorry shmoo was all I can think of to rhyme in Naraku's saying...)

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

He ran away and headed for the bathroom, he was getting himself cleaned when he saw the "monkies" washing up in his bathroom!

I went to me bath for a shower and shave  
The monkeys gonna put me into my grave  
The entire bathroom was laid to waste  
And they shaved my head with dental toothpaste

Sesshomaru was going to shave Naraku's head until Naraku ran away and headed back to the living room, where he spotted InuYasha, Kagome, and Koga doing the hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil thing. Then he ran back to his bathroom and sees Kikyo in his hot tub, Sesshomaru dressed as a merman, and Kagura dressed as a sailor man.

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
They is crazy nutso, I'm telling you  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Then Phoebe started to shine Naraku's head with a shoebrush shiner, then he demanded all of them to leave but he was shoved into the toilet (dont ask me why a toilet would be in Fuedal Japan) by Shippo and Rin pulled the chain and flushed him!

Well by zis time I was feeling dread  
Zey was using a shoe brush to shine me head  
I asked them to leave but they stayed around  
Zey pulled the chain and ee! I went down

He went from pipe to pipe until he ends up at the sewage system (again dont ask me why) as he continued singing his part while the others sang their part when the others were on top of the sewage lid.

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
Call my lawyer, I'm ready to sue  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
"Say what is a lawyer anyway?" Miroku asked. "Its a person who defends people's rights in court." Kagome explained. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Everyone except Phoebe and Kagome said.

Naraku then ran away and head into his kitchen.

Well my patients ran out and I'm telling you sure  
Tomorrow I show those monkeys the door  
And if they don't leave, I'm inviting you  
To my house for dogmeat and monkey stew

Then Naraku found himself in his stew pot, while the others were around him preparing a stew while wearing chef hats and aprons while Kikyo was holding a cook book.

I don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
Now I'm in the stew, oh pooh!  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do  
Watch out for monkeys, I'm telling you  
-Don't know what to say, the monkeys won't do

Naraku then escapes while running away in fear. Everyone else ran after him a bit but then they stopped and sang their part.

We're not monkeys, we're just cuckoo  
Don't know what to say, the Inu Group won't do

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Naraku screamed as he ran away. Everybody laughed. "Well that was fun!" InuYasha said cheerfully. "Yeah we should do this more often!" Sango said. "Ditto!" Sesshomaru said happily. Everyone stared at him in awe. "What?" Sesshomaru asked. "Noooooooothing!" Everybody said. "Anybody wanna come to my place and have cookies?" Phoebe asked. "HELL YEAH!" they all said. Phoebe and everyone else skipped off happily into the sunset.

The End

ROFL!! THAT WAS AWESOME!


End file.
